Community Disservice

The Sanguinary Utnapishtim was founded on a few core truths. That Khorne's great warcry should bellow out across the universe spreading rage and fury wherever it is heard, of course. That to ensure it does we should maximise Murders-Per-Moment to ensure the greatest slaughter of the greatest number, naturally. And that all this is to be carried out by two separate and very much not equal classes of being - the Mighty, those great warriors accurséd of the Blood Lord, and wardum, natural slaves, sentient tools for seeing the Mighty's will done. Everyone was sorted at a young age by Trials into one category or another, and the Church (which carried out those trials) assured everyone that their Trials were infallible, with no one ever misplaced. It might not seem fair to outsiders, alas; but this was the way of things, and there was widespread agreement (among the Mighty) that it was a very good way indeed.

Unfortunately there are really rather a lot of wardum, and they didn't always behave as they ought. Typically speaking any Mighty had the right to strike down any wardum on the spot for any reason whatsoever, and thereby ensure Order was maintained. Indeed, those found to be Mighty were taught from a young age that monitoring wardum for signs of defiance was a sacred duty, as was punishing them with utmost violence where such heresy was detected. Such decentralised punitive violence maintained a constant atmosphere of terror and hatred throughout the Empire, and usually sufficed to keep the wardum in line. Plus it was fun.

But there are nuances. What if the core truths come into conflict? What if, for instance, some wardum was performing some critical and irreplaceable task for the 8 Year Plans through which the Sanguinary Utnapishtim produced and distributed its war materiel? In that way enforcing the distinction between Mighty and wardum through sporadic violence (good) might set back the Empire's ability to maximise its MPM (bad). How should people decide whether violence should be done in such cases?

Well, the Etogaur in his great wisdom established the Tribunal system for just such cases. Two judges, typically rotated out of the military service of the Pact, would hear cases of such Plan critical wardum and decide what punishment, if any, was due for their infractions. Today we shall follow one such case, as seen through the eyes of tribune Ludiku, a Demigaur of the Pact, Mighty and stern and wise in her judgement.

(What's more, while no one with power would ever officially acknowledge as much, it was an open secret that the existence of such a Tribunal, and the possibility of showing oneself sufficiently Plan-critical to be subject to its rules rather than the caprice of whatever Mighty overseer took an interest in one's activity, was a significant social safety valve. Wardum outnumber Mighty 3-to-1 throughout the Sanguinary Utnapishtim, and 5-to-1 in this zone in particular. The threat of their rebellion took significant resources away from the front towards policing duties. Anything that could lessen that load by encouraging genuine buy-in among wardum was thus to be valued. Indeed, recent work by Office logisticians estimated that the Tribunal, or rather what it represented, ultimately upped MPM by 6.72% by promoting greater loyalty and hard work among wardum. So it wasn't just that justice must be done, but it must also be seen to be done, for the Tribunal to truly serve its purpose. This fact too shall play a role in our tale.)

The surly youth sauntered into the tribunal hall, instantly infuriating Ludiku Demigaur. How dare he? How very dare he!? Such arrogance from a wardum! She glanced over at her fellow tribune, Šāpiṭu Demigaur, and was at least gratified to see that he was evidently feeling the same way.

Of course, the very fact that he was here meant they had to play things smart rather than just whip him for his impudence on the spot. Still, though, that doesn't mean they can't nail the bastards who go too far. And this one really had.

Ludiku opened proceedings herself:

"Please step forward and state your name"

"Tāb Libbi, oh Mighty ones."

"And do you know the reason you are here today?"

"I do not."

Šāpiṭu scoffed at this, before barking at Tāb Libbi

"You know full bloody well why you are here you little bastard, how dare you lie to the Tribunal!"

But at this Ludiku shot him a glare; once she had caught his eye, she meaningfully glanced up at the gallery of interested wardum who had come to watch proceedings today. Young though he was, Tāb Libbi was already something of a known figure in the local wardum community. It mattered that they got this right.

Šāpiṭu took the hint and, though she could see the sacred wrath of Khorne behind his eyes, he managed to contain himself. Giving her a subtle nod, he let Lukidu lead proceedings once more.

"You stand accused of engaging in highly disruptive social behaviour, significantly affecting our region's ability to contribute its murder-per-moment quota to the Empire's total. Do you deny these charges?"

"May I ask the Tribunal by what behaviours in particular I am supposed to have disrupted our MPM?"

"On two consecutive days you are alleged to have helped an older lady cross the road by carrying her bags, on three separate occasions you are alleged to have made thoughtful individualised gifts for distressed persons in your workplace, and last week you baked the other residents of your communal habblock a cake using your own rations which you had saved up for a month. It seems, Tāb Libbi, that you are spreading joy and contentment wherever you go - do you deny it?"

"Respectfully, while I do not deny the acts - I deny I held our MPM back by said acts. That old lady does vital logistical work and I was speeding her along in her tasks. I judged my colleagues' distress to be in excess of what was optimal for efficient completion of Plan-vital activities, and my gifts were calibrated to be just thoughtful enough to get them back to work while also making them slightly resentful of my ostentatious generosity. And I told everyone that cake had chocolate chips when really it was raisins! My acts in fact left this moon not only more productive but also slightly more distressed, enraged, and prone to violence. I helped our MPM!"

Šāpiṭu was once again having trouble containing himself, and after loudly scoffing said: "You really expect us to believe these brazen acts of kindness were motivated by hate!? Your overseer heard you saying 'wishing you well' as you gave your colleague a knitwear hat!"

Tāb Libbi's look of offended innocence could melt butter as they replied "Really? I do not recall saying any such thing, and it doesn't sound like me. Could the overseer perhaps be called in to ask them about their recollection of events?"

Through gritted teeth Šāpiṭu responded "Unfortunately overseer Etēqu perished in an honour duel two days ago over the proper formatting of TPS reports, so cannot give testimony today."

Tāb Libbi looked thoughtful for a moment before saying: "Ah, well, I see - it seems to me, and please correct me if I am wrong Mighty Tribunes, I am but a humble wardum, but it seems to me that the alleged word of someone who was so recently founding wanting in the eyes of Khorne might not be fully reliable. Cowardly weaklings are prone to lie, deception being the weapon of the third impediment as it is."

Šāpiṭu looked on the verge of exploding again so Ludiku quickly cut back in before things could escalate. "Even without Etēqu's testimony the evidence still seems troubling, wardum. After all, we have one of the hats you made here." Ludiko reached under her desk and produced a(n allegedly) lovingly made knitted hat, perfect for keeping one's ears warm on the long cold nights of this moon base's extended winter season. "People in the gallery may be interested to know it even has 'You're doing great!' embroidered into the fold!"

Ludiku had expected producing the hat itself to shock Tāb Libbi and maybe get them to crack, or at least break into a sweat. However, as soon as Tāb Libbi had seen the hat he'd started smiling.

"Ah yes, that would be the hat for Sritāva? Some of my finest work if I do say so myself."

Šāpiṭu seized on this triumphantly, "So you admit to making it!"

"Oh yes I do. May it please the Tribunal, I request permission to handle the hat so as to point out some details; I'm really rather proud of it."

Sensing the danger but failing to act before Šāpiṭu who, obviously believing Tāb Libbi was digging their own grave, eagerly granted permission - Ludiku could only watch with mounting unease as Tāb Libbi was handed the hat. Turning it around in his hands, Tāb Libbi smiled to himself for a moment then said:

"See how I dropped a few stitches, mid row right near where I started working?"

Tāb Libbi held it up to the light, indicating a little bump on one side and a strand that seems to float over the work on the other.

"Yeah, as soon as the garment starts to get a bit of wear, holes will appear and the whole thing will start to unravel. Reckon it'll have just enough time for Sritāva to get attached to it before it all comes apart. Khorne take vengeance upon my enemies, but I weren't half proud of that one!"

Despite herself, Ludiku was impressed at this point. Worse, she could tell from the murmurs of approval coming from the gallery above that many in the audience were. Was not this sort of dedication to the Cause exactly what the Etogaur had called for in the recent Whole Society Maximum Effort Skull Taking productivity drive? Far from being a trouble maker, Tāb Libbi might actually be a model wardum! Indeed, Ludiku was so impressed by the deviousness of all this that she had to cut herself from the heretical thought that maybe, just maybe, the Trials of Might had misclassified this chap?

Šāpiṭu, on the other hand, was struggling to contain himself. "Are you always like this!? How can the operations of the Plan be trusted to one as perverse as you!?"

Tāb Libbi cocked his head to the right slightly and with great earnestness asked quizzically:

"I'm sorry, I am sure I misunderstand, the mind of the wardum lacks the Strategic Insight granted unto the Mighty, as you well know. I had thought that I best serve Khorne by spreading hate - are you saying this is wrong, that I should not have sought to irritate and annoy?"

"You are certainly annoying me right now you insolent whelp!"

"Right, and surely it is good that I have enraged you now?"

"OF COURSE IT BLOODY WELL ISN'T!", Šāpiṭu roared

There were gasps from the audience; even the Mashkim guard who stood at the entrance broke his perpetual scan of the gallery and looked with disgust at Šāpiṭu, his hand involuntarily straying towards his Crowd Control Chainaxe. Realising what he'd said too late Šāpiṭu sputtered a bit

"I... not... of course rage is.. rage is blessed, by, you know, Khorne... I just meant.... Fuck you."

There was a moment of undignified silence before Ludiku stepped in. This was a disaster; a Mighty servant of the state had just blasphemed against Khorne while a wardum was seen to uphold piety. If this went on any further they'd have to grant manumission to the bastard just to save face.

"Evidently there has been some misunderstanding here. This Tribunal finds you innocent of all charges, and you are to be released immediately. A compensatory increase to your rations will be added and your service noted. Mashkim, see that Tāb Libbi makes it back to his habblock post haste."

Released from his chains, and visible only to the Tribunes, Tāb Libbi gave Šāpiṭu a little wink and blew him a kiss as he left the hall.