A Collection of Short Stories
In the grim darkness of the far future there is only war. And quite right too, say the pious Khornites of the Sanguinary Utnapishtim. In order to perpetuate this blesséd state of affairs, and see that war involves maximally - and they mean maximally - many skulls taken, they have created the Office for Ceremonial Calculation. In this series of shorts we follow their misadventures, as this vast bureaucracy of pious Khorne worshipers works hard to ensure we get effective misanthropy, and that the Sanguinary Utnapishtim truly produces the greatest rage for the greatest number.
Hi there, (not-so-)gentle readers! In this section you will find linked some short stories. All stories are 500 words or less. Hope you enjoy!
- Abominable Cheating: I wasn’t able to retrieve the story directly from that link—could you please copy and paste the text here? Once I can see the content, I’ll be happy to craft a one-sentence summary for you.
- Chainaxe Porn: two logisticians enjoy reading some in-universe fiction during their lunch break.
- Crime in the Colonies: how the Sanguinary Utnapishtim thinks about violent crime and maintaining law & order.
- Decap-and-trade: logisticians are disappointed by declining public support for incentive-compatible slaughter.
- Delivering Value: a select cohort of stakeholders converge in a synchronously scheduled ideation environment.
- D.I.E. Training: in the 41st millinnium it's way past time we got serious about inclusivity.
- Enthusiasm Gap: even people who worship murder-Satan abhor push-polling. They have standards.
- Eššu-Malkum's Problem: one box or two?
- Excessive Bureaucracy: that mid-week feeling when yet another fertility cult tries to seize control of the state.
- Externalities: in which a conspiracy against the Empire occurs.
- Friction: inclusivity isn't just common sense, it gets results!
- Interpersonal Differences: sure, fine, you're not going to take it any more - but you're mad as hell!?
- Lessons: its grimdark because British public schooling has survived essentially unchanged from the 70s.
- Murder Most Benign: would Khornite law punish anyone who possessed mens innocens?
- None More Than One: intellectual debate re the merits of alternate systems of optimal skull accounting.
- Office Romance: it's not like I hate you or anything, b-baka!
- Rageless Bloodshed: ok I know they say Khorne cares not... but really? Really tho?
- Self "Torture": "oh no, please don't strap me into the pain-nexus!" - Slaanesh worshiper (insincere).
- Supply Chain Issues: so you accidentally exploded a continent sized mega-city.
- The Binding-Cord Machine: even 41st century murder-logisticians fear chatGPT.
- The Irritated: do you want fast-zombies? Because this is how you get fast-zombies.
- The Problem of Peace: drunken theology.
- The Source of Error: in which 9 errors are magnified ninefold eightyone times.
- Think of the Children: rarely is the question asked: is our children learning to murder?
Drawn for me as a little treat, by LorgarTheLad.