Office Romance

"Look, Inanna, I get it, but that's not what we're here to discuss. Council issued a decree and it's not the place of the Office of Ceremonial Calculations to dispute that. If you want to overturn Kidumesh's ruling you can challenge him to a death duel through the normal channels. Right now we're working with the ruling as is; the marriage is going ahead."

"But it's blasphemy!"

Šatammu pinched the bridge of his nose. Inanna's piety was charming, but her obstinacy tiresome. Perhaps he should break her nose? No, no. She was still the best ritual florist around.

Inanna pressed her point:

"There is just no way, no way at all, Khorne accepts this. Marriage is for making more warriors! I don't care what any mewling scholars say, they are asking us to celebrate" -- her face balled up, twisted and contorted by rage, no doubt trying to distract Šatammu by her perfect countenance -- "love."

"They're not, Inanna, they're really not. It's a means to an end! You read the Bītṭuppi Institute study, same as I did. Arena slaves fighting besides lovers achieved a 17% increase in kill rate. Think of the half-quarterly gains in ritual efficacy were that projected across the Pact! Consider the murder per moment ratio! Really, you mustn't be so old fashioned; love is hate, just with extra steps."

Inanna sat sullenly across the desk from Šatammu, glowering. One of these days she'd cut the bastard's throat, oh yes. She'd only stopped herself last week because the dishonourable coward had noticed she was at a moment of emotional weakness and viciously exploited that by bringing her soup while offering to take on some of her workload.

For his part, Šatammu took a last drag on his lo-stick and checked the time. It was late and they were still nowhere near done with today's work. Again. Ever since the approval of Chepûm Išātu Damigaur's extraordinary petition to marry his loxatl conphiliate, he and Inanna had found themselves working overtime every damned night. They needed to develop a ritual appropriate for a cross-species union that could not possibly produce future warriors. In fact, sometimes he even hoped suspected Inanna deliberately started these arguments towards the end of the day just to prolong their torment.

"We'll develop a ritual to emphasise," Šatammu continued in a conciliatory tone, "the great dishonour to any in our sacred band should they allow themselves to die unbloodied while fighting alongside their spouse. Perhaps, if we -- fuck!"

An alert had just pinged on his datapad, and when he's glanced down to read the title he'd been stopped in his tracks. Wardum Tamkāru was disputing the Bītṭuppi Institute study Kidumesh had based his ruling upon, claiming it did not replicate once one reran the analysis controlling for birth-world of the slaves. Bizarrely, Inanna was actually blushing; he'd expected her to look more smug.

Grinning despite himself, Šatammu lit up another lo-stick. Alas, he and Inanna would need to pull an all-nighter.