Eššu-Malkum's Problem

**Missive redirected to the Office for Propagation of Pertinent Information. See annotations from Ceremonial Office Propaganda Production & Error Reduction administrative-branch-divisional liege (eighth order) in appendix.**

To Whomever It May Concern,

I write to you not only as a concerned parent, but as a Mighty and loyal servant of the Etogaur concerned for our glorious Empire's future so long as we allow our children's minds to be poisoned with FILTH. It is well known that the age of First Murder continues to rise*, and is it any wonder with how their so-called educators behave? We may as well preach the second impediment and send them all straight to Slaanentch!**

Last night I saw my ferocious boy using his allotted time on the hab-block's cogitation device to run Stellacondensate Trough, the latest so-called training simulation dreamed up by the tacticians of your office! Expecting to find him engaged in some wholesome simulated mass murder or genocide I looked over his shoulder and what did I see? Agriculture! Scything not skulls but squash!*** And so now I must ask: are you trying to make a pacifist of my boy!?

Forgive my harsh language, but I must convey to you the depth of my feeling on this matter. And do not give me that line about it being preparation for logistical excellence in warfare, I have heard the so-called informational broadcasts that accompanied its release. You can quote all the studies at me you want, I find that a bit of Common Sense goes a long way and is in general a far superior guide to doing right by Khorne than any so-called studies.**** Perhaps that common sense is what your generation needs more of!

When I was my boy's age we had none of these cogitation devices, but we did not need them! With just the latest edition of M'arīísū's Mighty Murders shared among our little philia we had all the training we needed, and it generated in us a healthy ire too! For the heart roars loudest when it must out-scream the chain-axe.***** But if the next generation are raised on Stellacondensate Trough or its like then I fear we may as well punch the Geshtu theatre goodbye.

In any case, I am sure you have better things to do than listen to this old man's ramblings.****** So I shall say no more and expect a full recall of your blasphemous game shortly; otherwise, a duel awaits you!

- Alik

Hi Labarna,

We received another complaint-missive that should have been sent your way. These whack-jobs see C.O.P.P.E.R's name and think it must be our job to fix every problem in the Empire! Anyway couldn't help but add some notes of my own to this:

*False.

**Either his Pater needs a flogging or Alik does.

***Now they're a poet! Also: not how you farm squash.

****False

*****No idea what this means but I printed it out and put it on my office door.

******True

- Eanāṣir