Murder Most Benign

"... so the canid says, 'I can't see a thing. I'll open this one'!"

Zerakh's took a sip of his beer as his colleagues burst out laughing. Excellent. Octadic-Liege-Sixth-Order Enkara-Veth was here tonight and Zerakh was keen to impress; he had a performance-review coming up. If he was going to make Assistant-Vice-Tertiary-Sub-Comptroller this half-quarter every little helped. Better to leave on a good note, he thought, so he bid farewell and started home.

What transpired between his leaving the tavern and entering his habblock is debated by legal scholars on Uruk to this day.

Agreed facts are as follows. Shortly before reaching his habblock Zerakh was accosted by a wardum who had the temerity to not only bump into him but look him in the eye as they stammered "Apologies mi'lord." This wardum was dead soon after. Indeed, this wardum was killed by a blade held by Zerakh. Witness testimony corroborates these details. The question is: was this, as Zerakh insists, murder?

Certainly when Zerakh went in the next day with a branded skull affixed to his belt he claimed as much. He told colleagues that upon seeing a defiant look in this wardum's eyes he'd immediately withdrawn his managerial machete and decapitated them. Indeed, this act of pious service was enough to tip his otherwise mediocre performance-review over the edge, securing his long sought promotion to Assistant-Vice-Tertiary-Sub-Comptroller.

However, next tenday Khasarra’Nekh, witness to the alleged murder, burst into the Office. She was furious with Zerakh and demanded a duel. The deceased wardum had been a foreman in the manufactorm she ran, and their death had set production back so much that she'd been publicly flogged for failure to meet quota. To restore her honour she wanted Zerakh's skull.

Hostile Rencounters were loathe to authorise a death duel on such short notice, so while they debated procedural niceties Khasarra’Nekh reported her version of events. At the time of the alleged murder Khasarra’Nekh had been smoking on her balcony, overlooking the scene. Per her account Zerakh had indeed withdrawn his management machete after colliding with the wardum. But Khasarra’Nekh insists she overhead him reply in an amiable tone (she was especially disgusted by that detail):

"No mind, friend; here, take a look at this management machete while you can! Because it'll soon be replaced by a superior's sabre!"

But immediately after Zerakh had stumbled, accidentally running the wardum through. Zerakh had only then decapitated the already dead wardum, and concocted their story of righteous murder post-hoc.

HR eventually decided a duel was impermissible, since both Zerakh and Khasarra’Nekh were essential personnel. Our most reliable means of inquiry, trial by Might, was thus ruled out. At present, our law specifies no particular required mental state for those engaged in righteous violence. But, some legal scholars argue, surely Zerakh should not be credited for such "murder"? Zerakh, for his part, passionately maintains his guilt, and insists he murdered that defenceless slave with full malice aforethought. But of course he would say that.