Hearts of Darkness
Header: me sitting in judgement of your story submissions
The Blood God by Neillustrate -- used with artist's permission.
This short story was written by Gareth Watkins.
**From the archives of the Šangītu Guard.
Division-Ki (Cultural Deviance Monitors).
Re closure of AlMukazzad file.**
From: dontreply@violentdelights.su.ns
Title: Feronnikka Thraaal OUT of Kharn Biopic!?!
VIOLENT DELIGHTS MAGAZINE DAILY NEWSLETTER
In another blow to the troubled ‘Snuff Blockbuster’
“I know that I have so many fans across the Sanguinary Upanishad who were excited to see me die in Kharn, but due to scheduling conflicts I will now be dying in Blood Pact: Origins. I wish everyone working so hard to bring the character of Kharn the Faithful to life the very best! Blood for the Blood God, hate, xoxo”
The Office for the Propagation of Pertinent Information has already sunk 130 Million Ration-Skript into the pict, which is scheduled for release in less than one cycle. Talk around the ministry is that discussions have already taken place about whether it may be time to cut their losses - talks that will only get more intense now that the film’s romantic lead is out.
Read More…
From:caminoalmukazzad@kharnmovie.su.ns
Title: Re: Re: WHERE ARE MY VALKYRIES
I DONT CARE IF THE COWARD GUILLILIMANNN HIMSELF IS IN THE SOUHLANDS BRING ME BACK MY VALKERIES WE HAD AN AGREEMENT THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE AND THE MINSITRY WILL BE INFORMED OF THIS
From: southlandtheatrecommand@sumil.su.ns
Title: Re: WHERE ARE MY VALKYRIESThe 14x Valkyrie airborne assault carriers in question have been re-routed to conduct a routine genocide in the Southlands combat theatre. They will be returned to your production when the operation is concluded, provided that this is strategically expedient.
From:tipline@violentdelights.su.ns
Title: Re: tip from kharn set
Thanks for this - pure gold! We’ll run it in tomorrow’s noosphereletter and of course your anonymity will be assured.
B4tBG,
Violent Delights Tipline
From: dhjdhdhfud@kharnmoviel.su.ns
Title: tip from the kharn setSo I really shouldn’t be writing to you since I submitted to ritual scarification for this contract, but by Khorne’s big brass balls the Kharn production is OFF THE RAILS.
I work in a technical role on the set (won’t say what obviously) and here are just a few of the problems I’ve seen:
OUT OF CONTROL STIM USE: There are literally stims laid out on the catering table. AlMukazzad is getting four-hundred sk of stims delivered to his mobile hab DAILY. Vertimos literally shot the Armatura scene on Frenzon. He ate a guy. The producers are filling him with so much stuff to bulk him up that he thinks he IS Kharn half the time. His hormones are all messed up. He started lactating and it ruined a take.
WASTE OF SACRIFICIAL RESOURCES: This is really down to the OCC but the way AlMukazzad handled it was not okay. We’re burning through extras worse than stims: we requested 30,000 B-grade sacrificial victims for the big Istvaan scene, but what we got were C grade at best. This might seem like no big deal, but try getting a truly painful death out of an 87-year old tribal who’s been begging to die since before Cadia fell. AM went and shot the scene anyway, wasting about three mil sk for four minutes of footage that he burnt to get our dark patron Utu (exalted is He in Khorne's favour) to bless our new all-binauric picters, which he then declared ‘trash’ and went back to picting on 35mm.
WASTE OF TALENT: We’re on to our third Angron because AlMukazzad keeps shooting them. Like I’m sorry that the only actors desperate enough to sign on to this shitshow can’t ‘embody’ a thirteen-foot tall demigod when there’s a stubber to their head.
OVER SCHEDULE, OVER BUDGET: This isn’t my first grox rodeo. I know directors can be highly strung, and I could excuse all of it if the pict was going to actually get made. Right now we’ve shot five hours of material over two cycles and we still don’t have a finished script. Who starts shooting without a script? And this is supposed to be ‘the beginning of a World Eaters cinematic universe’?
Print anything you want from the above, but for Khorne’s sake keep me anonymous.
From:southlandtheatrecommand@sumil.su.ns
Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: WHERE ARE MY VALKYRIES
Theatre Command has considered your request and regretfully we must deny it at this time.
From: caminoalmukazzad@kharnmovie.su.ns
Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: WHERE ARE MY VALKYRIESTHERE ALL TRATORS PLOTTING AND SCHEMING BEHIND MY BACK DO YOU SEE THIS GROX SHIT THERE PRINTING IN VIOLENT DELIGHTS??? UNHINGED??? UNPROFESSIONAL??? STIM ADDICTED??? I AM TRYING TO CREATE ART HERE BUT BECAUSE OF THE DARKNESS IN THE HEARTS OF MY DUPLICTIOS CAST AND CREW I AM BEING BETRAYED AT EVERY TURN! I AM NOT MAKING PICTS HERE I AM MAKING CINEMA AND NOBOEDY UNDERSTANDS MY VISION
i am requesting that the 14 valkeries that were PROMISED to my production by the Etogaur himself conduct a bombing run on the 2nd unit. I know that the leak came from the 2nd unit they have always been plotting against me 2nd AD stigwick is a hack who could never create true CINEMA he has always been jealous of my genius.
DROP THE BOMB EXTERMINATE THE BRUTES
From:audiencetesting@oppi.su.ns
Title: ‘Kharn: Rise of the Faithful’ Test Audience
Dear Pactsman AlMukazzad,
Having conducted test screenings of your pict ‘Kharn: Rise of the Faithful’, we can share the following insights into audience reception.
1) The most common response was ‘too much talking (dialogue)’. Test audiences were generally confused as to why a snuff film had narrative elements, which took up over 22% of screen time.
2) Other test audience members noted:
2.1: ‘Could see that they had swapped the actor playing Kharn for an Ogryn in several scenes’
2.2: ‘Why wasn’t Feronnikka Thraaal in it? She’s hot as (expletive)’
2.3: ‘You can’t hear Kharn’s (expletive) talking because of his mask’
2.4: ‘In the Istvaan scene you can see that the actors playing the corpse-worshipper space marines are clearly beastmen, children or the elderly’
2.5: ‘When Garskin appears they talk like he’s been in the pict all along - were his other scenes cut out?’
2.6: ‘Angron tells Kharn that he must retrieve his sacred chainaxe and that the entire Heresy rests on this mission but that isn’t ever mentioned again.
2.7: Numerous instances of microphone servitors, various production crew in shot, actors holding cups of caff.
Based upon the qualitative data we have gathered from this early cut of the pict, the Office for Propagation of Pertinent Information must deny any further requests for funding or sacrificial victims to complete the production and we would recommend that production cease immediately.
From:caminoalmukazzad@kharnmovie.su.ns
Title: IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL CREW
THERE PLOTTING AGAINST ME I CAN FEEL THE TENDRILS WRAP AROUND ME CAN YOU FEEL THEM TOO? THIS WHOLE THING: A PLOT BY TZEENTCH-WORSHIPPERS ALL THE WAY UP TO THE DEMIGUAR HIMSELF EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM IS JELUS OF MY ART AND MY CREATIVERIY THEY DONT USENDERSTAND I AM CREATING SOMETHING THAT HAS NEVER BEEN ATTEMPTED IN THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF PICTS A PICT WITH A PLOT AND DIALOGE!
SOUTHERN THRATE COMMAND HAS FINALLY AGREED TO MY REQUEST TO BOM TH SECOND UNIUT PLEASE EVERYONE IN THE SECOND UNIT STAND IUN AN OPEN FIELD UNTIL THE BOMBING IS COMPLETE PLEASE
I HAVE ENTRUSTED THE REMAIDNER OF THE BUDGET TO SOMEBODY WHO UNDERSTANDS MY VISION. THEY ARE NAMED AL FARIUS AND THEY ARRIVED YESTERDAY TO TELL ME THAT I AM THE GREATEST CREATIVE GENIUS OF MY GENERATION AND THAT I NEED TO KEEP TAKING STYIMS TO CRATIE THE GREAT PICT EVER PICTED UNLIKE YOU INGRATES THEY UNDERSTAND MY VISIUON. THEY HAVE ALL THE MONEY NOW SO PLEASE ADDERSS ANY CONCERNS ABUT YOUR PAY TO THEM. THEY ARE BALD PALE AND QUITE TALL NOT SURE WHERE THEY ARE NOW BUT IM SURE THAT THEY WILL TURN UP
Yours in CINEMA,
Camino AlMukazzad
From:guinan.stigwick@kharnmovie.su.ns
Title: We Need to Talk
Cam,
We need to discuss the recent bombing of the entire second unit team. I have chartered a boat to pay you a visit.
B4tBG,
Guinan Stigwick,
2nd Unit Director
Kharn: Rise of the Faithful
From:dontreply@violentdelights.su.ns
Title: Hearts of Darkness SOARS to 1 billion sk Box Office!
VIOLENT DELIGHTS MAGAZINE DAILY NEWSLETTER
Director and star Guinan Stigwick told
Its most affecting moments are not those in which a Frenzon-addled Kharpasmant Ventimos beats a Best Boy to death with a prop chain axe, it is not the prometheum-bombing of the production’s entire second unit - they are the quiet interludes in which Stigwick’s boat floats lazily up the Nung river to confront a director now become every bit as tyrannical as the Coward Guilliman. It is our first shot of AlMukazzad, bloated to over six-hundred pounds from stim-use, and the words he speaks when Stigwick finally ends his life with a machete: “This is cinema. Cinema..””
Read More…